El Gato
by Shadsie
Summary: Legato discovers a strange, startling truth about Kuroneko. Contains ElGatoshipping, to find out what that is, read the fic!


I don't own Trigun. I make no money from these strange fanfictions of mine.  

El_Gatoshipping, a definition: "Ship/to Ship/Shipping" is a term to describe the support of a romantic pairing between characters of a particular anime, TV series, book, movie, ect.  It was perhaps first coined with The X-Files (Phileshipping) and Pokemon (Rocketshipping).  "El Gato" means "The Cat" in Spanish.   It is also, incidentally, the switching of the first two letters in the name of Legato.  Jammer L. Wolfwood created El_Gatoshipping in a fit of boredom and from random Trigun observances.  Go to her site and look in on her Ponderings to find…actual reasons/evidence why El_Gatoshipping works! http://www.geocities.com/donutneko  Don't worry, folks, it's just for humor!

El_Gatoshipping and Humanoid Kuroneko are Copyright Jammer 200-2002

This fic is for you, Jammer! 

EL GATO 

I saw her out in the desert, a slender figure outlined in the moons' light, long hair shining.  Clearly, the shadow was a woman.  I had no idea what she was doing so far out into the wasteland, but she was near to my Master's sanctuary.  I could not let a filthy human find and desecrate that sacred domain, so I decided to kill her.  

I dismounted my Thomas and approached her, my boots sinking into the soft sand. This was dune country.  I began concentrating my mental energy upon her, but I didn't want a quick kill.  I wanted her to know the pain of living before she died, so close she was to holiness, a disgusting sinner…  

She turned her head to face me and I stopped.  Her eyes shined like two lime-colored mirrors in the moonlight and she _hissed_ at me, a dark, diabolical sound, melodious to me as a child's death-cries.  It was then that I noticed the top of her head.  Two pointed ears jutted out from her black hair.  Long whiskers protruded from her face.  I stepped backwards, aghast at this strange beast before me.  I had been mistaken.  This was no mere human. I did not know what she was.  I felt a power emanate from her. She was blocking my telekinesis.  No mortal could do that!  Before I knew what I was doing, I cried out; "What are you?!" 

She growled, or yowled, actually, a soft but menacing feline sound.  The light of the Third Moon shined down upon her as she came near to me, and I saw her features.  She was a woman, but appeared to be covered in soft black fur.  She wore a tank top and blue jeans, out of which sprang a long, elegant tail.  She had the ears of a cat, and a river of crow-colored hair that spilled down her back and over her shoulders.  

I gasped.  I had never seen anything so beautiful…that is, besides the Master, but somehow, I liked gazing at this creature more.  Master Knives, despite how much he denied it, looked human.  This being before me was a perfect and elegant blend of the human and the bestial.  Felines were my favorite form of beast.  Cats were elegant, held no authority but their own, and, unlike humans, always told the truth in their every expression and action.  It is said that a cat can gaze at a king and rightly judge themselves to be the superior creature.  I was taken aback at the immense power I felt in the air between us. She was generating an energy, much like a Plant, but something that felt…less natural, and beautifully dark.  

She reached out a hand with long fingernails and suddenly scratched me under the chin.  I winced and wiped the blood away with my right hand.  No, I would never let my inferior human blood ever stain my left hand.  I let the blood of other humans stain it, bathe it, a minor act of vengeance against the one to whom it truly belonged while waiting for the time to give him true pain.  I hoped he felt it whenever I dug my hand into the quivering flesh of a dying man, but my own blood, I would never let touch it.  

The beautiful female feline creature spoke to me, struggling on the words.  "What are ya doin' out here, killah?"  

I could only squeak.  I did not know what had happened to my voice.  I swear I meowed. 

"Yes, I know ya.  I know whatcha are.  Why have you disturbed my peace?" 

I tried to answer.  All I could think about was stroking that soft fur of hers.  And strangely enough, kitty litter, lots and lots of kitty litter.  

"Yah," the cat-woman said.  "I like this world.  It's a giant sandbox.  I get excited just thinking about it sometimes."  Then, she turned to me.

"I suppose you want an explanation.  Humans don't often see me in this form."

"What are you?" I asked again.  I involuntarily licked my left hand.  I usually licked it when I was thinking about Vash the Stampede, but now, I was licking it madly like a cat. What was going on with me?  Was I acting catlike to try to impress her?  

"Ah, silly boy!  I can read your mind, yes, but you cannot read mine, no matter how you try, psychic!"  She was speaking clearly now, her early struggling gone.  "I am not of this world.  No, my claw has not defiled you.  I am as different from humans as the Master you serve, but I am not a Plant, either."  

I scratched the back of my neck.  I felt a fleabite. 

She scratched her armpit.  "I hate the things…jump all over me whenever I am on this planet, treat me as a bus and all-you-can-eat buffet in one.  They breed in the sand, like the warm."

"What are you?" 

She slowly began changing shape.  She grew smaller, less humanoid.  Soon what stood before me was a cat, a simple black cat.  The cat spoke.  

"I suppose you are used to seeing me in this form," she said, "though I rarely speak your primitive tongue this way.  Nyaaaaao!  Oh, your minds are much too simple to comprehend the beauty of the words of my people's language!"  

Without warning, she jumped into my arms and began purring against my chest.  

"My, my, you are handsome.  You aren't like most humans I've met.  You're more honest about the species' true nature."  

The black cat jumped out of my hands and resumed her humanoid form once again.

"I'm Lady Luck," she whispered in a sultry fashion, "Bad Luck, to be precise.  I am a watcher over this world, over many worlds, in fact.  I take a different form on each world I visit, but in all of them I am the Misfortune-Bringer." 

"Misfortune-Bringer?"  

"Yes. Death often follows in my wake, but not always. I've seen him following you around.  He rides a pale Thomas.  There is a balance in the universe that must be maintained and I am a part of that balance.  Can never let things get too happy, ya know?  Happy people are annoying."

"Yes they are!" I agreed.  Life was pain, life was suffering.  We should have died on this sandy world a long time ago, ended our suffering. Then an odd thought struck me; Knives had projected images into my mind many times.  I had seen images of his childhood and of the woman he hated, Rem Saverem, whose hollow philosophies his brother still followed foolishly.  The cat-creature…looked a lot like her… I shook my head.  The thought was just too disturbing, even for me.  

The Misfortune-Bringer hissed at me sharply.  "Silly, stupid, stupid handsome boy!  Immortals like me are not reincarnations!  And, I'm anything but nice!  Stupid creatures, all of you humans!"  

I was falling more deeply in love by the minute.  

"I am Kuroneko, The Black Cat.  You may also call me Lagata, for La Gata means 'The Cat' in Spanish, in the female tense."  

I strode up to Lagata.  "My name is Legato." I said in the most suave voice I could muster.  How did Midvalley do it?  Flirting with females?  "I am Legato Bluesummers" 

"Oh, Elgato." She stated.  To my surprise, she purred and wrapped her tail around my midsection.  The warmth of it felt very good.  Knives surely would not mind me flirting with this creature.  He didn't really care what I did, really, just so long as I remained true to my goal of causing Vash the Stampede suffering.  He hated the idea of humans romancing each other, for it naturally led to procreation – more spiders to pollute his world, however this creature…she was not human.  She was on the level of the Master, and somehow, I felt that my human genes could not ever taint her perfection, if she would take me as her own at all, and that this was not just some…saucy dalliance.   I had a feeling that she was merely flirtatious, like certain demons in fiction, or like a naturally lascivious cat.  Cats loved to play. Cats also loved to play with their prey before devouring it.  

"I've many followers," she purred.  "A Misfortune-Bringer cannot be everywhere there is misfortune at once.  I also like to keep those like unto me close to me.  You are a bringer of misfortune, too…. I know whom you hunt. I've been following him closely, that one." 

I smiled.

"Yes, my Elgato, you may be by my side, though others will not see me the same way that you do, not him, not even your master. Elgato may have dual loyalties now.  Yes…my pet, I know that if you could purr that you'd be doing so now.  We are unique souls, you and I, though you are human.  Purrrrr…Cats have nine lives."  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was infuriated.  Where did she go?  I had been searching for nearly a month now.  I found myself wandering a small town, looking for Lagata.  She had cheated me!  Misfortune-Bringer indeed!  

I was sure she was somewhere laughing at me.  We were supposed to be partners!  I had underestimated her, my stupid human mind keeping me from thinking with wisdom.  Cats love to play with their prey before devouring it.  The mouse attacks the cat that has cornered it, but then chooses to let the cat kill it to mask the pain…oh, no, but cats are not so kind.  They love to toss their catch in the air, claw the rodent stuck in fear-paralysis, toying with it for eternity.  Had not my Master taught me that?  The way of the predator?  

A month ago, I thought my pain had ended.  Now, here I was, wandering a tiny town of filthily, sweaty well diggers, trying desperately to pick up her scent.  I wandered up to a porch where I saw a man sitting in an old wooden chair.  

He held his hand out to me in a friendly gesture.  I reached out my little black paw and scratched it.  "Eternal suffering, Vash the Stampede!" I laughed in my new language as I scampered away.  

Lady Shadowcat, 2002.  


End file.
